Friday, January 16, 2009

An audience of one

Oh how we strive and run after the approval of people
So desperate to fit in
At what cost? At what cost I ask you?

I have vascilated from being a lone star most of my life and
extremely independent to trying to be popular with the wrong types of people

Do we not realize who we are in Christ?
Is he not enough?

He is enough. I assure you. Jesus has filled my heart when I was hurting inside.
He has been my best friend in times of need. He is my comforter and provider and

We all have a God sized hole that nobody and nothing else will ever fill. And at
the end of our lives the only opinion that is going to matter about you is from an
audience of one.

Think about it.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Selling out

"Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but be a new and different person with a fresh newness in all you do and think. Then you will learn from your own experience how his ways will really satisfy you." (Romans 12:2 TLB)

So many times in life we sell out just so we can fit in. What are we afraid of? I mean really? I use to be so concerned about image management and looking good to others, but I am starting to realize that the people I truly want in my life are just going to have to accept me for who I am. I mean isn't it exhausting trying to please everyone or jump through hoops just to fit in. A friend of mine told me she would like to wear an as is sticker. I thought that was pretty good and quite funny.

Whether it is imitating the latest fashions or trying to "keep up with the Jones" God has a much better plan for you and for me. I refuse to sell out. God created me to be a new creation and changed. I have been spending a lot of time in prayer with God lately and let me tell you it has been awesome! He has been revealing a lot to me.

One of my favorite scriptures is Isaiah 26:3. The day I got baptized this wonderful older lady from church walked up to me and spoke it too me. It was way cool, because that has always been one of my favorites.
You will keep him in perfect peace,him whose mind is steadfast,because he trusts in you. That is how we stay in peace. For myself when I am running around like crazy trying to please too many people and out of the will of God that is when caous ensues, however when my eyes are on Jesus and I am focused on what he wants for me for this day I am at peace.

Again,this goes back to the phrase God put on my heart recently Choose wisely.

Monday, January 5, 2009

God is in control

Hey everyone,

Just wanted to let you know sometimes I have bloggers remorse, kind of like buyers remorse because I worry about revealing too much and being judged for it. So if you see that I deleted a blog that was previously posted that is why.

Before I was a christian I had a rebellious, do not care what you think about me attitude. Now I so worry at times about being judged that I am afraid to reveal certain things about my life. Hopefully God will bring me to the place where I am comfortable in my own skin and do not worry so much about others opinions. I am really trying hard to quit being such a people pleaser in life and focus my attention on being a God pleaser.

I am in recovery for codependency right now. Most of my life I have played the role of rescuer and peace maker at the cost of my own sanity at times. I was the oldest child and care taker of my younger brother and sister. Most of my life I have sought out people to rescue, because that is all I really knew how to do. Sometimes you have to question that if you are trying to fit a square peg in a round hole maybe that relationship is not a healthy one for you.

God is revealing to me lately that it does not make me a bad christian if I do not want to hang around certain people. I do get to choose how I spend my time and with whom. Some people are just not healthy for you.

Other than a couple of beers and a glass of champagne I have been alcohol free for almost 13 years. About every three years on my birthday I will have one drink just to prove to myself it does not have mastery over me anymore. This is my choice because I saw how destructive alcoholism can be to a family. I also had an uncle with not only a drinking problem, but a huge substance abuse problem, and he eventually committed suicide.

For today I am second. God is first. Check out the website sometime. It is awesome!

It is a constant struggle to turn my will over to God and not try and take control again. When I truly "accept the things I cannot change or people I cannot change" that is when peace ensues. I have no control over what my husband or friends do. I have no control over the choices that they make. I only can choose for myself which path that I will take.

We can choose how we will respond as well.

Meditate on this prayer today:

God grant me the serentiy to
Accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference

God is good and he cares about your life. Love to you all.